


Without, Inferno | Within, Peace

by Avalynne



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Major spoilers for the last few episodes of Rebels.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avalynne/pseuds/Avalynne
Summary: In that moment, Kanan knows the choice he has to make, no matter how much it hurts.Note: Major spoilers for Jedi Night and epilogue ending of Rebels.





	Without, Inferno | Within, Peace

At the last, he feels peace.

Without, an inferno of heat rages, barely held at bay by nothing but the force of his will and the guidance of the Force. Next to him, Hera, her own emotions a swirl of panic and fear, but to him, he’s the same guiding light she’s always been. Farther back, Sabine, all bright colors and sharp edges. Ezra, nothing but cold dread because Kanan knows that he knows.

He hates to do this to him. He’s already lost his real parents. Kanan doesn’t want to let him go, to let any of them go.

The Force runs through him like a river, though, and immersed in its currents, he sees all the possibilities branching out from him. Kanan Jarrus, the catalyst, the shatterpoint of so many futures in this one moment.

But there’s only one he can make, only one that will ensure the safety of his family.

Just once more, he wishes he could see them, all of them. Sabine. Ezra. Hera.

A deep breath. It’ll take all of his strength to make this happen.

Kanan Jarrus and Caleb Dume, together, one and the same, draw in breath and the Force and open themselves entirely to its power.

In an ordinary situation, this much raw power running through them would be enough to destroy him, but he’s already seen the future--embraced it, even. 

When he’d watched Master Billaba fall and his friends had turned on peace, he’d been a ball of fear, panic, chaos, entropy.

But here, there is peace, and in the lingering edges of his consciousness, he can feel her, waiting, watching, proud.

And it’s her strength and his own that he draws on as he gathers the energy needed to move Hera back to the ship, because she’ll never go on her own, never leave him--the best of friends he could have ever had, a real partner, a love purer than anything he’d ever deserved.

Kanan Jarrus opens himself to the Force and takes it in.

And it’s not his eyes that are working again, but there’s light everywhere, and somehow, he sees again. It’s more than the sight he had before he was blinded--it’s everything he saw visually and so much more, enhanced by the Force.

Sabine, a new hair color and all the fire he’s ever loved about her. He wishes he could see all the art she’s done, all the art she will do, and hopes that somehow, when he joins the Cosmic Force, that Sabine’s life and light will somehow be art he can still experience.

Ezra. Kanan knew that he’d grown taller, but it’s entirely different to see the rounded edges of his youth gone and see the young man that stands there. Inside his heart, nothing but light. He wishes he could give him one last lesson, but there’s no way to teach the pain of losing a master. Like Kanan, Ezra will have no choice but to learn from experience. Still, he’s a beacon in the Force, and Kanan knows that he’s done so much wrong in his life, but this? This is something he’s finally done right.

In front of him, Hera, and if Kanan is the point on which her future now depends, then she is the past catalyst on which the trajectory of his life took a drastic turn. There’s so many things he wants to say in this moment--how she healed him, how she’s the reason he was able to not only be a Jedi, but a father figure to the kids, how she’s the entire driving force behind the man he is now, but she’s all swirling panic and fear.

He smiles, and knows she can’t tell, so he does the one thing he swore he’d never do and touches her mind, replacing the image of him broken and scarred with turquoise eyes, and in connection with her mind, he’s able to recreate them as she always saw them--bright, shining, full of affection and love.

And as he brushes her mind, he feels something else.

 _Someone_ else.

His heart twists for the child he’ll never know, a strange blend of wistfulness, longing, and pure, unstoppable love, but his resolve is steel and grace.

Kanan Jarrus gently pushes Hera and his son back onto the ship into the arms of the Ezra, the man he’d always wanted to call his son, and surrenders to the will of the Force.

Not fear, not panic.

Only peace.

**Author's Note:**

> First, I had too many sad feels to write and now they're just all wistful and here's this while I try to work through it. Then, I swear I'll get back to work on Like Holding Broken Glass, because I will die on the hill which is the glory of Kanera.


End file.
